Three Insights Into The Process Of Asking For Help When Collaborating

One of the tasks a moderator of an innovation social network
needs to concern themselves with is how to put different people together to
facilitate the collaborative process.
Sometimes those with shared interests find each other serendipitously. Other times the moderator needs to make the
introduction. Ultimately the person most
responsible for the selection of their collaborator is the person seeking help.

I've been reading some of the studies by Vanessa K. Bohns of the University of
Waterloo - Department of Management Sciences.
She is doing remarkable work helping predict how collaboration works. Her work also informs the notion of what type
of partner you need during the collaborative process.

I don't know
about you but when people ask for my advice or assistance I'm usually flattered
and try my best to be of service. It's
been my experience that when I ask others for assistance, they're generous with
their contributions.

Now that we're
all engaged on collaborative social networks, we work with a variety of
different people we might not otherwise be exposed to in or our normal work day. There is a claimed advantage of innovation social
networks: We don't have to know everyone
intimately, but we can find an expert when we need one. They're identified based on their previous
contributions.

Studies tell us we're
only capable of managing about 50 real personal relationships tops. Yet, there are over 7500 people I'm connected
to in my social networks. When I ask for
help the choice to collaborate must be based more on human psychology than the
good times we've spent together.

Asking Someone To Collaborate

You might be surprised to learn it's easier to get people
to help you on a project; to collaborate on your idea, than you suspect. We're busy worrying about taking up the time of the
person we're considering to ask. Our
targeted helper is usually more concerned how they'll look if they refuse.

In studies by Bohns and her colleagues, most people
underestimated by as much as 50% the likelihood that others would agree to a
direct request for help. It seems potential
helpers appreciate the social costs of refusing a direct request for help,
while help seekers consider instead the instrumental costs of helping.

Wanting Someone To Ask Us To Collaborate

If you're interested in providing your expertise,
let people know your door is open instead of selling the benefits of your skill
set.

People in a position to provide help tend to
underestimate the role that embarrassment plays in decisions about whether or
not to ask for help. They don't realize
the angst the help seekers are going through preparing to solicit
assistance.

As a result, potential helpers may overestimate the
likelihood that people will ask for help.
And helpers may misjudge the most effective means of encouraging
help-seeking behavior - emphasizing the practical benefits of asking for help,
rather than attempting to assuage help-seekers' feelings of discomfort.

Who to ask for help depends on what stage you're in the
process

When you do decide to ask for a collaborative partner,
you might want to give some thought to what that partner brings to the table,
depending on where you're at in your process.
If you're at the formative stages of the project, someone with
complementary skills might be the most helpful.
While you can address the portions of the project you're most expert with,
the other folks can focus on the parts in their wheelhouse.

Wrap Up

We're all learning how to collaborate better within
social networks. We don't have to be
afraid to ask for help as others are likely inclined to jump in rather than be
judged poorly. For those of us who are
interested in collaborating on interesting projects, with sharing our
accumulated expertise, we should let others know it's no big deal to be asked,
rather than tout the skills we have on offer.
Lastly if you're in the thick of a project you should be looking for
someone with a complementary skill set. If you're in the home stretch perhaps someone
just like you is the best collaborator.